The Feelings of Being Dropped and Rejected

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2 Samuel 4:4 (ESV):

Jonathan, the son of Saul, had a son who was crippled in his feet.  He was five years old when the news about Saul and Jonathan came from Jezreel, and his nurse took him up and fled in her haste, he fell and became lame.  And his name was Mephibosheth.

MEPHIBOSHETH –

I see here in the verse, that this young boy was in the care of an unnamed nurse.  After all, he could have been the future king of the land, and would have had a caretaker, a nanny, a trusted companion to be entrusted to.

And in a time of urgency, a time when the kingdom seemed to be crashing all around them, a time when the nurse was not thinking clearly, when she was rushed in going to and fro…

Mephibosheth was consequently DROPPED…dropped by someone who should have been caring for him.

DROPPED by someone who should have been the model and personification of LOVE!

He was dropped by the one who fed him.

Dropped by the one who hugged him.

He was dropped by the one he TRUSTED!

Has someone you have loved and expressed LOVE to you ever dropped you?

You looked to them and they dropped you!

You trusted them and they dropped you!

They held you close and they dropped you!

They fed you with one hand and slapped you with the other hand!

They held you, said I love you but the way they held you was full of perversion and in your heart you question, “Is this really love?”

They said “I love you” but their actions spoke of hate and anger.

You were dropped by the one who should have been holding you!  Not only were you “dropped,” but you were changed when you were dropped from that moment on and you began to WALK DIFFERENTLY.

I remember hearing the story of my mother-in-law when she was probably about Mephibosheth’s age.  A neighbor had come over to visit and wanted to bring Margarite down stairs to the parlor for others gathered to gloat and brag over this pretty young girl.

As she began to proceed down the stairs in haste, she dropped my wife’s mother, which resulted with her leg being broken.  Unfortunately, in that day in age, X-Rays were far and few between, and the doctor didn’t set the little girl’s leg correctly.  So, her leg bone fused to her hip, and she became lame in that leg, walking differently, wearing a specially made shoe, for the rest of her life.

But being LAME in life can obviously go beyond the physical deformities, it can apply to our spirit, our souls as well.

WALKING IN RELATIONSHIPS –

Your relationships after being dropped can carry with them the effects of being dropped.

You carry insecurities IN the process of being DROPPED.

But understand the Bible constantly affirms the teaching of Self Worth!

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness”  (Genesis 1:26)

AND Psalm 8:5-6 (Amplified Bible):

[5] Yet You have made him but a little lower than God [or heavenly beings], and You have [crowned] him with glory and honor.  [6] You made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet.

Holding Unforgiveness –

We lose when we fall into a cycle of HATING those that have dropped us.

Matthew 5:43-44:

[43] “You have heard that it was said,  ‘Love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.’  [44] But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

HURT –

Instead of admitting the HURT, we think about it and puzzle over our anger, when the ANGER becomes so strong you forget that you have even been hurt!

REVENGE –

Revenge comes with, “What can I do to get even?”

Always dwelling on the issue–never moving on–never growing up and never allowing FORGIVENESS to flow.

Minds are manipulated by feelings.  They allow the initial HURT to evolve; which grows into something larger to hold onto, resulting in certain Self-destruction; Self-damage and poor Self-worth.

A person that doesn’t think well of themselves eventually begins to criticize others.

Proverbs 26:24 (AMP):

He who HATES pretends with his lips, but stores up deceit within himself.

Pushing others down makes those who are down felt as if they are greater.

We are never given AUTHORITY to CRITICIZE OTHERS, even those who have done us wrong.  Even those that HATE you.  Even those that CRITICIZE you.  Even those who whisper (gossip) behind your back.

BLESS THEM, ENCOURAGE THEM, UPLIFT THEM!

I challenge anyone, who has or had feelings of inadequacy from being dropped and rejected by another, will hold on to these feelings while Blessing them, Encouraging them, and Uplifting them.

MEPHIBOSHETH FOUND HIMSELF AT THE KING’S TABLE –

2 Samuel 9:1-5 (AMP)

[1]  AND DAVID said, Is there still anyone left of the house of Saul to whom I may show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?  [2] And of the house of Saul there was a servant whose name was Ziba. When they had called him to David, he said to him, Are you Ziba? He said, I, your servant, am he.  [3] The king said, Is there not still someone of the house of Saul to whom I may show the [unfailing, unsought, unlimited] mercy and kindness of God? Ziba replied, Jonathan has yet a son who is lame in his feet.  [4] And the king said, Where is he? Ziba replied, He is in the house of Machir, son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.  [5] Then King David sent and brought him from the house of Machir son of Ammiel in Lo-de-bar.

MEPHIBOSHETH; although lame physically, never searched for the king, BUT…the king searched for him!

He was afraid of King David!  Perhaps this young boy had a wrong perception of the king’s character.

JESUS said,  “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost”  (Luke 19:10).

Man does not SEEK after God, God’s not lost; we are!

In all our insecurities, self-doubts…we have turned our backs on God.

Mephibosheth found himself in a far country (9:4).  He was at Lo-debar.

LO-DE-BAR means “the place of no bread.”  It’s a place of starvation; there is no SPIRITUAL FOOD in this far country.  And, there is no strength outside the will of God.

Are you finding yourself right now in a far off place HURT and REJECTION–in a land with the name of Lo-debar?

Mephibosheth was crippled and couldn’t help himself (9:13).

He would have died without the King’s help (9:8),

JESUS came into a country where there was NO BREAD.  I feel so grateful, so blessed that He came to SAVE me and you!

MEPHIBOSHETH WAS RECEIVED FOR ANOTHER’S SAKE –

2 Samuel 9:1, 7 (AMP):

[1] AND DAVID said,  Is there still anyone left of the house of Saul to whom I may show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?

[7] David said to him, Fear not, for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan your father’s sake, and will restore to you all the land of Saul your father [grandfather], and you shall eat at my table always.

DAVID love Jonathan like his own son and David made a promise to him:

While I [Jonathan] am still alive you shall not only show me the loving kindness of the Lord, so that I die not.  But also you shall not cut off your kindness from my house forever–no, not even when the Lord has cut off every enemy of David from the face of the earth.  (1 Samuel 20:14-15, AMP).

Mephibosheth became a son of the King (9:11).  [See Romans 8:17]

[17] Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ…

It is true that, while we as human beings were in our infancy, the devil grabbed us and ran off into a far country that caused mankind to fall and be crippled.  Where our doubts, our failings, our insecurities, OUR FEELINGS has left us crippled spiritually and feeling not loved.

BUT thank God, it is also true that the King has come, He sought us, and found us in a far country, adopted us into His family, and will take us to His country to sit at His Table for eternity.

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CREDITS –

True Beauty of Our Scars, A Book by Elisa Morgen

Photos:  Google Images Search.

Bible Translations:  New International Version (NIV), except where noted.

 

 

“Sticks, Stones and Words”; Dealing with Hurt!

The Right Defenses

DEALING WITH THE HURTS

INYOUR LIFE HURT–WHAT IS HURT? It’s a part of life and not just the Christian life.  Remember what the apostle Paul went through? “We are hedged in (pressed) on every side–troubled and oppressed in every way; but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;  We are (persecuted and hard driven,) pursued, but not deserted–to stand alone; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed;  Always carrying about in the body the liability and exposure to the same putting death the Lord Jesus suffered, so that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies.  For we who live are constantly [experiencing] being handed over to death for Jesus’ sake, that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be evidenced through our flesh which is liable to death.  Thus death is actively at work in us, but [it is in order that our] life [may be actively at work] in you”  (2 Corinthians 4:8-12–Amplified Bible). “But we commend ourselves in every way as  [true] servants of God; through great endurance, in tribulation and suffering, in hardships and privations, in sore straits and calamities,  In beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless watching, hunger;  By innocence and purity, knowledge and spiritual insight, long-suffering and patience, kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in unfeigned love”  (2 Corinthians 6:4-6). HURT IS A PART OF LIFE My wife told me about a fellow employee where she worked, that when “things” were not going as they expected would say,  “It is what it is–deal with it“.  Hurt is a part of life and I am going to “deal with it” scripturally.  Maybe, it will help you deal with hurts in your life.   I ran across this quote this morning in my investigative study:  “I’m fighting to get you out of my head but I’m holding onto every word that you said”.  Are you holding and meditating onto some words that were spoken to you once?  That saying of old, “Sticks and stones will break your bones but names (words) will never HURT you” is nonsense; words can hurt! I remember a story that my youngest daughter told me about her first singing experience in grammar school.  She said that they were all singing in class, as they were instructed to do so when her teacher said, in front of her peers, ‘you have a bad voice Kristin’.  She then told me that she sings in the shower or in her car, but not in public.  I tried to comfort her in saying, “Your teacher was WRONG! You don’t have a bad voice at all”.  WORDS are THINGS and they can hurt and effect you for a lifetime if you don’t let go. It hurts when any parent wants the best from their child but doesn’t see it manifested.  Does that mean they should stop parenting?  No, it means we must function past the hurt. DON’T BUILD A FOUNDATION OF “HURT” “There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”  (Prov.12:18). “The strong spirit of a man sustains him in bodily pain or trouble, but a weak and broken spirit who can raise up or bear?  (Prov. 18:14). Building a foundation of hurt will stop you from moving forward; it will lead to anger and turned inward, depression!  LESSONS TO BE LEARNED IN THE ‘SOMETIMES’ Sometimes, we would never acknowledge them if we had not gone through the hurts.  We learn what is right and what is wrong while we are in the midst of the circumstance; the hurt.  Sometimes, we are blind and deaf until hurt knocks on our door and we wake up! HURT is an “alarm clock”; it brings us back to reality.  We learn how to begin functioning again.  The last time you were hurt by someone or some thing, your feeling at the time was, “it will never end”.  But it did. HURT is one of the killers of our effectiveness.  It controls the correct function of our emotions; it perverts ones thinking process.  We think about all the wrong things when we hurt: we say things we shouldn’t say, do things we shouldn’t do; react in ways we regret later.  Our emotions have been affected and infected by our thinking. WRONG WAYS TO MOVE AWAY FROM HURT 1.  Hurt someone else first. 2.  Harden my heart. 3.  Pretend it really didn’t happen. 4.  Decide not to trust anybody. Making decisions while hurt will move you in the wrong direction; away from God.  Decisions that we will spend the rest of our lives trying to correct.  Yes, hurt is real and it’s real in the church. SOMETIMES, GOD EVEN ALLOWS THE HURTS TO COME IN OUR LIVES “No, really?  Yeah, He does; to see where our commitment lies.  He doesn’t cause the hurt, He allows it!   If God calls you to a particular church in your area, and because you get hurt there, you leave.  I can give a personal testimony to those words; got hurt by someone or some thing and left!  My Pastor said last Sunday that if you are looking for a perfect church, you will never find it! Not a perfect Pastor, or perfect sanctuary, a perfect choir or perfect people.  Did God change His mind about the “call“?  NO. “FREEDOM” FOREVER FROM HURT Everyone gets over hurt, if they continue to move on.  So what hinders that ‘moving on’?  It’s simple; we stop in the hurt and meditate; “we nurse it and rehearse it” over and over again until the hurt becomes a part of who we are.  That’s why the Word tells us what to meditate on: “Whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]”  (Philippians 4:8–Amplified Bible). Dr. Creflo Dollar says, “When you read that verse in Philippians and see the word ‘whatever’, substitute ‘THE WORD’ instead”.  So you might read verse 8, “THE WORD is true, THE WORD is worthy…”; I think you get his idea. CLAIMING YOUR FREEDOM Turn next to the Gospel of Luke see how to claim your freedom from hurt forever: “Behold!  I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and [physical and mental strength and ability] over all the power that the enemy [possesses]; and NOTHING SHALL IN ANY WAY HARM [“hurt”] YOU”  (Luke 10:19–Amplified Bible). When I read that verse, I make it personal by substituting my name ‘Mel’ {put your first name in},every time the word “You” appears.  “Nothing shall in any way harm Mel”. In Ephesians 6, the apostle Paul tell us when “all the flaming missiles” are headed in our direction [hurting words], to “Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench” the attack (Ephesians 6:16).  An interesting side note on the verses in Ephesians 6:  verses 11 and 13 say to “put on God’s whole armor“, and verse 16 says to “lift up over”, over the armor that you already have on. If we put others opinions above what God says, we are lowering our shield of faith.  Forgiving those who accuse us, abuse us through hurt; intentionally or not becomes an act of faith.  Once you forgive, stop reliving it.  When you ask God for forgiveness, He forgets it; doesn’t keep bringing it back up to you. MEDITATE ON THE WORD UNTIL THE WORD SPEAKS TO YOU!  I encourage you to grab a Complete Concordance of the Word of God and the next time hurt comes your way, and it will come, write them down and place the verses regarding “hurt” in your Bible.  Here are but a few examples I found from my concordance:  “PRAISE THE Lord!  For it is good to sing praises to our God, for He is gracious and lovely; praise becoming and appropriate.  The Lord is building up Jerusalem; He is gathering together the exiles of Israel.  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows]”  (Psalm 147:1-3). “The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow”  (Psalm 34:18). “He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives”  (Isaiah 61:1; Luke 4:18). God has set you free from any hurt that is occuring or might occur in your life.  Accept the freedom and move forward.  “PRAISE THE Lord!”