Being Realistic In The Face Of A No Good Rotten Husband

Scripture Study in 1 Samuel 25:1-31

My Blog-post is a little early for Mother’s Day, but in this passage of Scripture that deals with a woman, it doesn’t really address mothering ways.  But after studying the verses in this chapter, I began to admire this woman.  I thought, if she displayed this type of devotion to a no good rotten drunk, then what a mother she must have been.  

Her name is Abigail.  I’ll just refer to her as Abi.


Abi was married to…well…a no good rotten husband!  Look at the first 3 verses of Chapter 25:


All the events happened during a time of unrest, when King Saul was trying to kill David and David and his men were found hiding where Nabal (Abi’s husband) kept his goats and sheep.

When David’s men asked for some food, Nabal ridiculed them and then denied their request.  That made David mad, which in turn worried Nabal’s servants and so steps taken by Abi saves the day!

What Abigail did for the No Good Rotten Husband, she would certainly do for her child I thought.

You can see the mother in a woman who tends to be consistent in ALL AREAS of her life.  Here are but a few things that came to mind while meditating on this passage of Scripture–

Abigail Protected Her Husband and He Didn’t Even Know It –

Moms, have you ever been embarrassed by something your husbands has done or said? I think I just felt a virtual nudge from my wife from the other room.

Perhaps a spoken word that offended someone and so without him knowing, you reached out to that person in a mending way.

Abi basically prepared a peace-offering in this story as she went to meet David, hoping she would prevent her husband’s death.

Now Abigail didn’t condone her husband’s actions, but if she was PROTECTIVE of a No Good Rotten Husband, how much more protective would she be of her children?

Good Mothers Do All They Can to Protect and Heal –

  • They put on band-aids…
  • Kiss boo boo’s…
  • Give their newborns soft, round toys to play with.
  • Monitor TV and video games as well as computer usage.

I know you’ve heard this bible passage over and over again through the years and God’s promise in Proverbs has always comforted me while raising my three children, even after they became adults:

“Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  (Proverbs 22:6, Amplified Bible]

Abigail Was Protective As A Wife and all her appeals to David in the following verses of 1 Samuel Chapter 25, were based on her knowledge of the LORD:


Abi Was REALISTIC About Their Wrongs –

Good Mothers don’t deny or ignore their child’s wrongs.  

Maybe you are not one of these parents, but some think THERE KIDS can do no wrong.

I don’t know about you, but people…especially kids, want to get away with whatever they can get away with.  I can’t count how many times my own children when growing up…something would break in the house, or is left in the middle of the floor for me to step on or trip over, or a light switch left on in every room (still drives me nuts), and would you guess the response to the question, “WHO DID IT?”  You guessed it, all three of them, “Not me dad!”

Mothers, You Gotta Be Realistic About Your Kids Shortcomings!

If you are realistic, you’ll have a better chance to show them what’s RIGHT, hopefully heading off future mistakes!

Don’t avoid them, ignore them, or turn a blind eye to them, hoping and praying things will all work out in the end.  You’ve SACRIFICED a lot raising these kids, so I think you have a right to give some advice.

Abi was Sound In Her Advice –

Abigail’s advice to David was saturated with Godly Wisdom:

1 Samuel 25:29-30 (NIV)

[29] Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master [David] will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies He will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling.  [30] When the LORD has done for my master every good thing He promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel,”

One thing Abigail does is to make reference to David’s future as KING.

I noticed here, when Abi said God would “hurl away” his enemies as “from the pocket of a sling,” got David’s undivided attention, for he certainly knew all about the “sling.”


Abigail’s Character Really Shined At This Point –

Abi’s intelligence and humility won the life of her No Good Rotten Husband and their servants.  She approached David in complete contrast from Nabal, her husband.  Look carefully at her advice in verses 26-28:

[26] So now, my lord, as the LORD lives and as your soul lives, seeing that the LORD has prevented you from bloodguiltiness and from avenging yourself with your own hand, now let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal.  [27] And now this gift, which your handmaid has brought my lord, let it be given to the young men who follow my lord.  [28] Forgive, I pray you, the trespass of your handmaid, for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the LORD’S battles, and evil has not been found in you all your days.


Not reacting in a rash way, keeping a clear conscience, as my Mom would remind me when I was young.  It probably reminded David of his actions toward Saul.

What Abigail practiced towards her future husband, she would certainly practice with her children.

Mom’s, this is a great LESSON to teach kids when they are young–Don’t react in the moment because you’ll probably react wrongly.  Even we adults need to be reminded of this.

Just like Abi, tell them what the LORD can and wants to do in their life!

Abigail Was A Compliment To Her Husband –

Abi was a good and godly wife both to the no good Nabal and to the future King David.  How can we know that?  If left to his own devices, Nabal would have certainly been killed by David.  For some reason, that’s hard to understand sometimes, like Abigail, many women put up with a lot of stuff!

My first reaction in reading the verses, Why Didn’t Abi just let David rid her of the nuisance of a husband?  Nabal was a no good stupid drunk–Abigail says as much in vv. 25-26.


Now I’m not insinuating to husbands reading here are inconsiderate drunken fools like Nabal.  But men do have a tendency to react rashly. We often push and we aren’t sensitive toward our kids as mothers are.

Looking back on raising our children, there was a needed balance–a sensitivity that Mom’s bring to the family.  I always knew when I said something insensitive to our kids because Dianne would give me THAT LOOK!

You see, Abigail isn’t just about the CHARACTER OF A MOTHER, but of a godly woman, wife.  

We’re not told that Abigail had any children with Nabal.  They did have servants and Abi cared enough for them that she was going to do what she could to protect them.


It’s unfortunate that we got such a short glimpse of Abigail because I believe she played a huge role as wife of King David.  We know that Nabal eventually died and that David’s anger was avenged by God and not by David’s own hand, just as Abigail had advised.

David was like a lot of men.  Had this beautiful and intelligent woman not stepped in and given godly sound advice, David would surely have had the blood not just of Nabal, but the servants and most likely Abigail his future wife on his hands.

My take on the unfolding events in this chapter and beyond is, God saw in Abigail one who would compliment David–reason with David and balance David’s home and kingdom.

Mothers Are The Glue That Holds The Family Together –

The TRUTH is, women/mothers are most often the ones better grounded in God’s Word and are therefore guided by God’s wisdom.  

They are the ones faithful to the church, they are the ones faithful in prayer.

And men, don’t sit back, nodding your head and thinking this was God’s original plan: Women are meant to be more faithful than men in the family life.  It wasn’t, and still isn’t.  But if we don’t take our responsibility as husbands and dad’s in the Christian home, our wives/mothers will fill the void.

Men need to listen to the advice of your wives so that they might just save your life.  Just ask Nabal.  You can even ask David.

I wanted to share the Story of Abigail (“Abi”), Nabal and David because God helped me see through this situation of the godly characteristics of a godly woman and mom.

Abi did become a mother, Nabal did die, and David?  Well, David remembered this intelligent, beautiful woman just as she requested.  He married her and they had a son named Chileab.

I believe as Abigail the mom, these characteristics we looked at grew stronger…And if we think about them, these are characteristics that many of us witness today in our own moms and wives.

And young moms reading this Blog, you can take these attributes of this godly woman and practice them in your own family.

And men, we’ll know when we’ve messed up.  Your wife will look you in the eye, shrug her shoulders and say,

“Well, at least you’re not Nabal!”

wicked-smart-the-story-of-abigail-400x400Men, you would do well this Mother’s Day to say like David,

[32] Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, Who sent you this day to meet me.  [33] And blessed be your discretion and advice, and blessed be you who have kept me today from bloodguiltiness and from avenging myself with my own hand.



SERMON NOTES: Male Role Models – Good & Bad by Brian Atwood.

PHOTOS:  Google Image Search; ShutterStock.

BIBLE TRANSLATIONS:  Amplified Bible, New International Version, and King James bible.

2 thoughts on “Being Realistic In The Face Of A No Good Rotten Husband

  1. I name my children after people in the scriptures and have a daughter named Abigail. I am trying to find paintings for each of my children and really like this one of Abigail. Can you tell me who did this painting?



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