“Sticks, Stones and Words”; Dealing with Hurt!

The Right Defenses

DEALING WITH THE HURTS

INYOUR LIFE HURT–WHAT IS HURT? It’s a part of life and not just the Christian life.  Remember what the apostle Paul went through? “We are hedged in (pressed) on every side–troubled and oppressed in every way; but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;  We are (persecuted and hard driven,) pursued, but not deserted–to stand alone; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed;  Always carrying about in the body the liability and exposure to the same putting death the Lord Jesus suffered, so that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies.  For we who live are constantly [experiencing] being handed over to death for Jesus’ sake, that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be evidenced through our flesh which is liable to death.  Thus death is actively at work in us, but [it is in order that our] life [may be actively at work] in you”  (2 Corinthians 4:8-12–Amplified Bible). “But we commend ourselves in every way as  [true] servants of God; through great endurance, in tribulation and suffering, in hardships and privations, in sore straits and calamities,  In beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless watching, hunger;  By innocence and purity, knowledge and spiritual insight, long-suffering and patience, kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in unfeigned love”  (2 Corinthians 6:4-6). HURT IS A PART OF LIFE My wife told me about a fellow employee where she worked, that when “things” were not going as they expected would say,  “It is what it is–deal with it“.  Hurt is a part of life and I am going to “deal with it” scripturally.  Maybe, it will help you deal with hurts in your life.   I ran across this quote this morning in my investigative study:  “I’m fighting to get you out of my head but I’m holding onto every word that you said”.  Are you holding and meditating onto some words that were spoken to you once?  That saying of old, “Sticks and stones will break your bones but names (words) will never HURT you” is nonsense; words can hurt! I remember a story that my youngest daughter told me about her first singing experience in grammar school.  She said that they were all singing in class, as they were instructed to do so when her teacher said, in front of her peers, ‘you have a bad voice Kristin’.  She then told me that she sings in the shower or in her car, but not in public.  I tried to comfort her in saying, “Your teacher was WRONG! You don’t have a bad voice at all”.  WORDS are THINGS and they can hurt and effect you for a lifetime if you don’t let go. It hurts when any parent wants the best from their child but doesn’t see it manifested.  Does that mean they should stop parenting?  No, it means we must function past the hurt. DON’T BUILD A FOUNDATION OF “HURT” “There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”  (Prov.12:18). “The strong spirit of a man sustains him in bodily pain or trouble, but a weak and broken spirit who can raise up or bear?  (Prov. 18:14). Building a foundation of hurt will stop you from moving forward; it will lead to anger and turned inward, depression!  LESSONS TO BE LEARNED IN THE ‘SOMETIMES’ Sometimes, we would never acknowledge them if we had not gone through the hurts.  We learn what is right and what is wrong while we are in the midst of the circumstance; the hurt.  Sometimes, we are blind and deaf until hurt knocks on our door and we wake up! HURT is an “alarm clock”; it brings us back to reality.  We learn how to begin functioning again.  The last time you were hurt by someone or some thing, your feeling at the time was, “it will never end”.  But it did. HURT is one of the killers of our effectiveness.  It controls the correct function of our emotions; it perverts ones thinking process.  We think about all the wrong things when we hurt: we say things we shouldn’t say, do things we shouldn’t do; react in ways we regret later.  Our emotions have been affected and infected by our thinking. WRONG WAYS TO MOVE AWAY FROM HURT 1.  Hurt someone else first. 2.  Harden my heart. 3.  Pretend it really didn’t happen. 4.  Decide not to trust anybody. Making decisions while hurt will move you in the wrong direction; away from God.  Decisions that we will spend the rest of our lives trying to correct.  Yes, hurt is real and it’s real in the church. SOMETIMES, GOD EVEN ALLOWS THE HURTS TO COME IN OUR LIVES “No, really?  Yeah, He does; to see where our commitment lies.  He doesn’t cause the hurt, He allows it!   If God calls you to a particular church in your area, and because you get hurt there, you leave.  I can give a personal testimony to those words; got hurt by someone or some thing and left!  My Pastor said last Sunday that if you are looking for a perfect church, you will never find it! Not a perfect Pastor, or perfect sanctuary, a perfect choir or perfect people.  Did God change His mind about the “call“?  NO. “FREEDOM” FOREVER FROM HURT Everyone gets over hurt, if they continue to move on.  So what hinders that ‘moving on’?  It’s simple; we stop in the hurt and meditate; “we nurse it and rehearse it” over and over again until the hurt becomes a part of who we are.  That’s why the Word tells us what to meditate on: “Whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]”  (Philippians 4:8–Amplified Bible). Dr. Creflo Dollar says, “When you read that verse in Philippians and see the word ‘whatever’, substitute ‘THE WORD’ instead”.  So you might read verse 8, “THE WORD is true, THE WORD is worthy…”; I think you get his idea. CLAIMING YOUR FREEDOM Turn next to the Gospel of Luke see how to claim your freedom from hurt forever: “Behold!  I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and [physical and mental strength and ability] over all the power that the enemy [possesses]; and NOTHING SHALL IN ANY WAY HARM [“hurt”] YOU”  (Luke 10:19–Amplified Bible). When I read that verse, I make it personal by substituting my name ‘Mel’ {put your first name in},every time the word “You” appears.  “Nothing shall in any way harm Mel”. In Ephesians 6, the apostle Paul tell us when “all the flaming missiles” are headed in our direction [hurting words], to “Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench” the attack (Ephesians 6:16).  An interesting side note on the verses in Ephesians 6:  verses 11 and 13 say to “put on God’s whole armor“, and verse 16 says to “lift up over”, over the armor that you already have on. If we put others opinions above what God says, we are lowering our shield of faith.  Forgiving those who accuse us, abuse us through hurt; intentionally or not becomes an act of faith.  Once you forgive, stop reliving it.  When you ask God for forgiveness, He forgets it; doesn’t keep bringing it back up to you. MEDITATE ON THE WORD UNTIL THE WORD SPEAKS TO YOU!  I encourage you to grab a Complete Concordance of the Word of God and the next time hurt comes your way, and it will come, write them down and place the verses regarding “hurt” in your Bible.  Here are but a few examples I found from my concordance:  “PRAISE THE Lord!  For it is good to sing praises to our God, for He is gracious and lovely; praise becoming and appropriate.  The Lord is building up Jerusalem; He is gathering together the exiles of Israel.  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows]”  (Psalm 147:1-3). “The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow”  (Psalm 34:18). “He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives”  (Isaiah 61:1; Luke 4:18). God has set you free from any hurt that is occuring or might occur in your life.  Accept the freedom and move forward.  “PRAISE THE Lord!”