Hardness of Heart Results and”The Shame Game” Begins (Part 2)



Many people who I have talked to over the years have said that God just wasn’t a factor in their lives.  I would follow-up their statement with a question; “Why do you feel that way?”  Their response would be,  “He never seems to pay much attention to them, and nothing ever changes”.  Although, it might appear to be the situation, we know that God is not the problem.  God is like a battery, continually sending out power in life.  The devil knows he can’t stop the power, so he does the next best thing.  He corrodes the battery-cable connection.  You and I are like battery cables.  If you have ever looked under the hood of your car, you can see that there is a little metal ring attached to the battery cable which must fit down over the battery terminal.  If the inside of this cable ring becomes coated with corrosion, it doesn’t matter how much power is stored in the battery; none of it will be able to flow to the starter connection.  You can sit there in the car and continue to turn the key in the ignition out of frustration, but no power can reach the starter.  Your conclusion is most likely to be, “the battery is dead”.

God really loves you!  In fact the bible says God is LOVE (1 John 4:16). He wants to send you love, power, and help. BUT, if the enemy has been able to establish his message of identity and destiny within you, then the resulting internal images begin to insulate you from God’s love, just as the corrosion on a battery cable ring separates the starter from the battery power.  God is NOT withholding His love and help from you.  He wants to expose you to the corrosion that is preventing the close contact; experiencing His love and help in your life.


When cursing of identity comes, it can deeply wound your heart, causing you to erect a wall to block further pain.  Unfortunately, that same wall can also prevent the love of others from entering your heart.  Craig Hill, in his book, The Ancient Paths says,  “Love can be received only when a risk of being hurt is taken, and the protective wall toward another individual is pulled down.” 


The primary force that prevents the breaking down walls is FEAR.  The fear of being hurt again.  1 John 4:18 speaks to that circumstance:

“There is NO FEAR IN LOVE, but full-grown (complete and perfect) love turns out fear out-of-doors and expels every trace of terror! For FEAR brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached maturity of love”.

Healing of the heart comes through the taking of what can seem like an extreme risk.  This extravagant action, to the pulling down the wall and opening the heart to people in a safe environment.  The deep FEAR that Satan uses to keep us from taking the next step is the terrifying prospect of rejection, public exposure, and ridicule.  Actually, when done the right way, with the anointing of the Lord, the opposite is true.  I found in the Letter of James, some direction in this circumstance:

“Confess to one another therefore your faults and pray also for one another, that you may be healed, and restored”  (James 5:16).

Usually, if there is no confession to others, there is no healing.  Why?  Because the wall standing, because of FEAR of being rejected and hurt still is intact, blocking you from receiving the love of people and God.


Because of the refusal of continuing to walk in God’s “eternal paths, where the good old way is“, for two generations now in our society, “hardness of the heart” has prevailed.  “We will not walk in it!”  (Jeremiah 6:16).  Our culture has exchanged the value of SELF-SACRIFICIAL LIVING for the value of SELFISHNESS.  Even some Christians have adopted the latter value.  The goal in life today for many people is simply “pain avoidance”.  Most people spend much of their time and energy trying to avoid further pain and to find something or someone to make them happy.

The following data I dug up reveals the consequences of having allowed God’s protective walls to be torn down in our culture:


Every day in the United States:

    2,795  teenage girls get pregnant

    1,106  teenage girls have abortions

    372  teenage girls has miscarriages

    689   babies are born to women who have had inadequate prenatal care

    67      babies die before one month of life

    105    babies die before their first birthday

    27     children die from poverty

    10     children are killed by guns

    30    children are wounded by guns

    6    teenagers commit suicide

    135,000 children bring guns to school

    7,742 teenagers become sexually active

    437 children are arrested for drinking or drunken driving

    1849 children are abused and neglected

    3,288 children run away from home

    2,989 children see their parents divorced

Keep in mind as you read through this data that these are DAILY, not weekly or monthly statistics.  The data came from The Almanac of the Christian World  (c) 1990.  So even these staggering numbers have probably changed upward significantly.


Many of America’s parents have lost and failed to teach God’s message of identity and destiny to their children.  God’s purpose in life is to impart His Glory to your and your family through BLESSING.  Satan’s purpose is to SHAME you and your family through CURSING.

GLORY can be defined as “a feeling of dignity, great value of being, acceptability and legitimacy”.  Dr. Creflo Dollar says,  “Glory means ‘heavy with weight’; manifestation of God’s Word seed. The glory of the healing is in the word seed.  The actual healing is the glory.  The Bible contains the ‘word seed’, and when the seed bears fruit…That’s GLORY”.

On the other hand, cursing of identity delivers the opposite of Glory — SHAME.  Shame can be defined as “a feeling of lack of dignity, worthlessness of being, unacceptability, and illegitimacy.  Shame, as opposed to guilt, is a deep feeling of wrongness of action.  “GUILT says, ‘I MADE a mistake.’  Shame says, ‘I AM a mistake.”  If I make a mistake, there is hope. I can repent and be forgiven by the blood of Christ.  However, if I am a mistake, there is no hope for me.  I can change what I do, but I can’t change what I am.  Many people try to rid themselves of the feeling of shame through doing things that they hope will help.  They then become “HUMAN DOINGS instead of HUMAN BEINGS.

SHAME is a deep feeling of contamination, uncleanness, and of being flawed. It causes you to feel incapable, different, and isolated from others.  “I don’t have what it takes to be a success,”  or “I don’t belong; I’m not supposed to be here.”  When SHAME is behind your built up walls, you often time feel like you have to work twice as hard as others to accomplish half as much.


Shame often comes through perverted family “rules”.  Every family has unwritten “rules” that are communicated to the children at a very early age.  I wrongly tried to instill the… ‘if you don’t eat that, you can eat in the morning for breakfast’ rule.  I know, I was terrible and many times my oldest daughter will remind me today how terrible the rule was.  During that time, in my early life as a parent, the rules I set  before my kids weren’t godly. They didn’t set boundaries of blessing, releasing God’s glory into the family.  In other families, the rules are made to cover the SHAME of the parents and to make sure that their in abilities are not exposed.

In the last example of shame in the family, the most wounding time for children is when they are the neediest.  That is when parents who are filled with shame get angry, curse the identity of their children, and hold them accountable for the circumstance beyond their control.


“We have renounced disgraceful ways (secret thoughts, feelings, desires and underhandedness, the methods and arts that men hide through SHAME)…   BUT even if our Gospel also may be hidden [only] to those who are perishing and obscured to those who are spiritually dying and veiled [only] to those who are lost.    For the god of this world has blinded unbelievers’ minds [that they should not discern the truth], preventing them from seeing the illuminating light of the Gospel of the glory of Christ, Who is the Image and Likeness of God”  (2 Corinthians 4:2-4).

SHAME causes intense focus on ‘self’.  Paul tells us in the above verses that we are to renounce the things hidden because of shame.


Once SHAME is referred to through the ‘cursing of your identity’, the feeling of SHAME is carried on to adulthood through lies that you believe.  Some of the lies which nourish this SHAME might be:

1.  What I feel is wrong; (anger, hurt, loneliness, sadness, etc.).

2.  It is selfish and wrong to have a need or ask a favor.

3.  It is wrong to express a contrary opinion.

4.  I should never allow myself to make a mistake.

5.  I can’t go out of the house without looking just right.

6.  Compulsive sin or addictive habit.

7.  Need to succeed in order to be accepted.

We can see that God ‘”programmed” man to walk in His “eternal paths, where the good, old way is”; which were meant to be protective wall to us.  These walls are ceremonies, customs, habits, and laws which God established in society. Those walls were for our benefits; God’s message of identity and destiny through parental blessing at special pivot points in our young families.  Over the past few generations, these protective walls, or “old ways” have been torn down and abandoned in our culture. 

If you need to dig into this subject of “eternal paths” further, pick up Craig Hill’s book The Ancient Paths. I used a lot of his information and statistics in the writing of this blog and added personal examples for emphasis.


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