“These Are The Days”; Building the Relationship

My personal favorite Country Music group is Sugarland!  Can I hear an AMEN?  They recorded a CD with the title,  “These Are The Days“. I hope they won’t mind if I share a few of their lyrics, to get you thinking about Building on the Relationship in marriage and, in the church family. 


recorded by “Sugarland”

The Chorus:


We can’t forget, these are the days

Whoa, don’t be afraid.

We can’t forget, these are the days.

One Verse:

Well, we got each other and that’s all we need

From here on out it’s just you and me.

Two hometown hearts up against the world,

That don’t stand a chance against this boy and girl.

We face’em down, fought bigger fights,

And I know babe, we’re gonna be alright.


HUSBANDS and WIVES; Not just “Partners” in marriage

I Peter 3:7 says,  “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage  relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off.  [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]”

My first blog in this series spoke of, “Those WERE the Days”  while today’s blog says, “These ARE the Days“.  And friends of my blogs,  It’s Time…time in the marriage, time in the family and time in the church. These are the days to start building on your relationships. Now if you don’t think you need to improve in these areas of your life, you need not continue reading.  BUT…

Partnerships in EVERYTHING

There should not be any MY’s in a marriage partnership; only “ours”.  I Peter says,  you should realize and recognize in the marriage relationship that your are heirs together; “joint heirs“.  That means men, you should show your wife that you value or appreciate her and, do so everyday.  And if you say you don’t or won’t appreciate her …it hinders you.  “But how do I, as the husband, a “joint heir” in the partnership, learn to do the little things to show her my appreciation?”  Good question!  It all begins when you learn how to have relationships in any arena [not just marriage], according to what God says; “relationships can be bridges“.

Turn to Matthew 6 and read to yourself verses 31-34, I’ll wait for you, go ahead.

Verse 33 says,  “BUT seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and THEN…

The Holy Spirit has convince me, about a month ago to start building relationships in my city; at the new church I just started attending. I need to internalize verses 33; “seek“, search for and strive after God’s kingdom and His way of doing things instead of my own doing into being right.   And then…”ALL these things taken together will be given you (Mel) besides.” Stop worrying about acceptance.

Verse 34 continues,  “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.”

Family and Church Relationships

With such a wide range of personalities around us, it sometimes is difficult to start even a conversation, much less beginning a new relationship.  We don’t have the same interests, to old, to young, spiritually immature; and we don’t even know them yet.  Turn to Ephesians 5 and get knowledge and understanding on what God is saying to us. Meditate on these verses; read the words until they speak back to you.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Verse 21 says,  “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).”  Whatever God instructs you to do, submit or subject to His Word.

Verse 22…”Wives, be subject to…”  SUBMISSION can be your protection.

1.  “sub”  means ‘under’ his mission.

2.  “Adaptable” [Amplified Version] to your husband.

Pre-nuptials are contracts, protecting your rights from another.  Covenants are giving up your rights to another. Therefore POWER is invested in submission and your lives can then be, a living epistle or an open letter. That’s better than commenting on FACEBOOK.

3.  Respect and honor–that’s man’s number one need.

Verse 23…For the husbands…”  “For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church. Himself the Saviour of [His] body.”   In your getting men, get understanding.  Proverbs 4:5

There is leadership in the headship; and if husbands are to understand this concept in the family, then demonstration of your “headship” must carry with it a leadership role in the relationship.  Now guys, you better wipe the grin off your “pudding face” in response to your Spiritual leadership in the family. Don’t use your “authority” for control!

HUSBANDs; a living epistle.

An open letter to your wife and children should reflect your needs:

1.  You NEED to let your wife know where you are and when you will be at a certain place.  The “body” needs to know where the “head” is. It comes under the category of “respect and honor”.

2.  Provide leadership in finance.

Up until about a year ago, I had followed the patterns of my mom and dad regarding family finances.  For over sixty years of marriage, mom handled the finances in paying the bills, saving for vacations, food budgeting and so forth.  When Dianne and I were married, my mom sat down with her at the kitchen table and explained to her how to make up a financial plan and how to stick to it. It was okay to rob Peter to pay Paul, but eventually you would have to pay Peter back. And it has been a blessing to our family. However, as a spiritual head of our family, I had neglected my financial responsibility as spiritual leader of our family.  After almost 47 years of marriage, we now write the bills together, I now know how much money we are saving for our fiftieth wedding anniversaryand the how to’s. Dianne still writes the budget plan every month but I have taken the responsibility to oversee it and make leadership input. 

“These Are The Days” to start Building Bridges in the Church

How many times have I entered into a church building for the first time and said,  “Boy, the people here just smiled at us but never said or asked us anything.”  Or maybe you have said to one another,  “We have been attending this church for over a year now and don’t really know anyone. They are sure unfriendly!”  The Holy Spirit spoke to my spirit over a month ago, “Mel…why don’t you personally initiate the relationship instead of waiting for someone to approach yourself. You are in a place of “selfishness” Mel and bridge building won’t happen in your selfishness.” Ephesians 2:19-22 gave me a challenge in Building Relationships in the Body of Christ.

“Therefore [Mel] you are no longer outsiders (exiles, church migrants, and aliens, excluded from the rights of citizens), but you now share citizenship with the saints [in the church] and you [Mel] belong to God’s own household.”

Verse 21,  “In Him the whole structure is joined (bound, welded) together harmoniously, and it continues to rise (grow, increase) into a holy temple in the Lord [a sanctuary dedicated, consecrate, and sacred to the presence of the Lord].”

These Are the Days” in the process of building relationships.

Verse 22 encourages us all,  “In Him [and in fellowship with one another] you yourselves also are being built up [into this structure] with the rest, to form a fixed abode (dwelling place) of God in (by, through), the Spirit.”




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