“Husbands and wives are co-rulers in a marriage”.
In my last blog, I made a bold statement to husbands; before uncovering clues on how, “Supportive Roles in Marriage” work. I mentioned that in 1 Peter 3:1-6, God’s Word is speaking to wives, NOT to husbands! No looking over their shoulders men, grinning about what God wants wives to be in verse 1, “…be submissive to your own husbands“. Today, I will be speaking directly to “Husbands“. So ladies, find something to occupy yourselves and no looking over your husband’s shoulder. Lets get started men.
In 2 Peter 1:5-7, I discovered some very important evidence about exercising; “exercise causes development”. In these three verses in 2 Peter, God is telling all of us, husbands and wives that exercising your faith developes “virtue“. There are “7–Christian virtues” listed in verses 5-7. The developement is in “excellence, resolution and Christian energy” and the development doesn’t just happen. It has to be exercised. Let me share what is found in “exercising” our faith and how these Christian virtues come into clarity as a “supportive husband” in relationship.
1. “Exercising your faith, developes virtue.” Verse 5.
2. “Developing knowledge (intelligence)” in a supportive role. Verse 5.
3. “Developing self-control” Verse 6.
4. “Developing steadfastness (patience, endurance).” Verse 6.
5. “Developing godliness (piety)”. Verse 6.
6. “Developing brotherly affection”. Verse 7.
7. “Developing Christian love.” Verse 7.
Each of the 7 virtues that are exercised, leads to the developement of the next virtue. Write them down and put them close by men. That is because, when your anger rises up in selfishness over a particular issue between you and your wife, you will know that you have become lax in exercise. You must make an investment in your supportive role; investing your time in marriage. A lawyer goes to law school to practice law. A doctor goes to medical school before practicing medicine. If you want to make the statement to others, “I have a prosperous marriage”, then you have to educate yourselves in marriage. I will start in 1 Peter.
Go with me to 1 Peter 3:6, to see how understanding our roles as husbands, leads to maturity in marital relationship. You will learn to develop your thinking; that your ‘knower’ knows, that you know what your supportive role is in marriage.
1 Peter 3:6, “It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters IF you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].”
Husbands, don’t get puffed up when you read this verse. “Honey, come in and read what Peter has to say about obedience”, or “What’s this verse have to do with me?” I love the Amplified version of this verse. In this translation, “brackets [ ] contain justified clarifying words or comments not actually expressed in the immediate original text, as well a definitions of Hebrew and Greek names.” That explanation is provided in the preface of The Amplified Bible.
Husbands are to educate themselves in marriage. In leadership, your roles and duties before your wife acknowledges your role as headship of the marriage. By the way guys, just a personal note I have learned over the years in my marriage. Your wife responds to your physical needs, not by your snide comments about sex, but to your “godliness” in your marriage. Develope that principle, and be successful. That can be categorized as “exercising steadfastness [develops] godliness.”
Husbands are not just partners in marriage but partnership in everything.
1 Peter 3:7 says, “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the womans as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are ‘joint heirs’ of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]”
There are no “my’s” in your roles as husband. It should be verbalised as, “it’s ours”. “How about my wife’s saying “my this” and “my thats’? According to verse 7, you are “heirs together”; ‘joint heirs’. Excercising ways in showing your wife that you value or appreciate her. A walk in the park or along a seaside beach. Fixing supper for the both of you one night a week or asking her how her day went. If you are already doing and showing her appreciation, remember what happens when you stop exercising. You can get flabby, stiff-necked and just plain sore! If you don’t think you have the time for such non-sense, verse 7 gives you a warning. “…your prayers might be hindered and cut off” and [“otherwise you cannot pray effectively”].
Husbands need knowing how to have relationships according to what God says; not what the world says. Relationships are “bridges” in life. You can apply this truth in evangelism in your city and in your marriage.
I once was a part of a “dicipleship training’ program that” Campus Crusade for Christ” held at a church I attended in Southern California. They taught that when you witness for Christ, it wasn’t like living behind walls of your castle-church. You have decided as a group, you need to go into the surrounding villages and tell them about Jesus. You let down the draw bridge, cross the dangerous moat and tell everyone that they need Christ. Then you run into resistance in your telling and run back to the castle, pulling up the draw bridge behind you. “We will have to do that “witnessing thing” again someday”.
Why did I go down that rabbit trail? “You don’t go out witnessing; you witness as you go”. Your “supportive role” in marriage is an every moment, everyday exercise. It is not only taking your wife to dinner on your anniversary and on her birthday. That is appreciative, but it is another two raids to the outskirts of town? A visit to a restaurant, then pulling up the draw bridge behind you when you get back to your home-castle and saying, “There, I have completed the task in front of me”. King Arthur might pat you on the back but King Jesus will shake his head and smile saying, “our relationship and communication might be hindered. Try bridging your relationship with your wife”.
Matthew 6:31-34, talks about what NOT to do and what TO do in your role as a husband in marriage. Read God’s word and write down all the clues you can find about your role.
“How about Ephesians 5, concerning “Your Supportive Role in Marriage”–How does it work? ” series. That is where I am doing my investigative study for the next blog. We will look at family and church relationships and where we husbands are to take a supporting role in the family.